Random emo post :(

Seriously before anyone calls me an attention seeking whore. Do note that I'm only venting my frustrations here because I know very very few people reads my blog because I only share it on my ask.fm. Also , what I'm gonna share..... Most readers prolly won't understand because again , only very very few people knows what I'm gonna say and those very very few people aren't gonna read this blog since very very few people knows about this blog and even fewer people reads it. Ok OMG what's up with me and very very few. Um well sphere it is.... Don't read if you hate me ahahha a you're gonna ate me more ;))

I have a feeling that one day , if we're ever gonna break up , I'll be the one hurting and he's just gonna be like :  cool I don't really care. I know we're like only 14 so we "do not know what is love" but what I'm saying is not just about love but any form of relationships. When one day , it just breaks apart. I know ours is gonna break apart one day , I know I'll be the one hurting. So why did I even accept in the first place? Why was I such a fool? :( yes I did like him for real that was why I accepted but why couldn't I have rejected and waited for my feelings to die out? Why did I acted on impulse? Because of that moment of impulse , I'm going to hurt more in the future . Reality sucks , it really does. We're so awkward Idek why and I hate awkwardness. Seriously , I think the whole world will think that I asked him for stead ._.  Well do I look that despo ? It's not that he's bad but I kinda was going through the getting over him when people kept pushing me to him & stuff just because they shipped us. So because of those , I failed to get over him ._. That's why in prolly going to be hurt in the future. 

Where there's love , there's pain

Where there's pain , there's smiles

Where there's smiles , there's agony 

Ok that was random and stupid pls ignore the above thank you and have a nice day but this blog post is not over yet so hi again. 

Getting into any forms of relationships will hurt you a lot , a lot. Whether it's kinship , friendships , bgr , friends with benefits or anything. Because we are still humans , we cannot control our hearts , we still develop feelings no matter how hard we try not to. 

The more I think about it , the more I think what brought us together was fate . But somehow I sense that , although we were fated to have gotten very close and gotten into a bgr (ummm it's awkward to say this myself) , we are not destinied to remain that way . 

I'll just remember those as painful memories. There's a reason why I hate to think about the past , most of time , it hurts me. More than 90% of my past is filled with hurt. Thus , I rather look at the future and present. Although the future seems to be bleak and filled with uncertainty , it is my only hope. Because , my present is really painful too. 

Feels weird saying these since I'm known for my hyper image. I sincerely hope no one reads this . Yeah call me fake for saying that but posting it , I only have a "don't judge" to say to you .

May the future be bright and filled with hope❤️